Questions for Baby (and God)

Sunday morning, Josh had to be at church hours before the service started, because he was helping out. It seemed like a nice day, so I decided to walk to church (about 3.5 miles) so we'd only have one car there. I got my water, and headed out with plenty of time for the stroll. The weather was a little hotter than I anticipated, but, other than that, it was a beautiful walk.

Along the way, I had a talk with God and Baby about all the hopes and questions about this new little person. It went something like this:

"Will you ask questions about the trees and plants when we're out on these walks?
Will you love science as much as I did?
Look at those horses over there- will you love animals?

Will you love reading as much as your dad and I?
Will books be as magical to you as they were to me?
Will the Xbox 360 or other gadgets get in the way of reading?

Would you delight in that big spiderweb between those two trees, or the rainbow in that fountain?
Would you try to chase that butterfly?
Will you think bugs and frogs are cool?

Will you hold my hand when we go for walks, or want to run way ahead, or sit in a sling or stroller and watch the world go by?
Next time we go on a walk, will you remind Mommy not to wear flip flops? Ow.

How will I teach you to love Creation?
How will I teach you to love people - even those different than you?
How will I teach you to love God?

I'm so glad God knows you already-
knows who you are
and what you'll be like
and who you'll grow up to be.
I just hope I don't get in the way too much."

Can you tell I'm excited to meet this kid?

Baby Stuff: Car Seat

Once upon a time, when one of my nephews was a baby, and we were still driving the tan Civic, we were taking him on an outing. His dad installed the infant bucket seat in our car, rear facing, and we discovered that, although the backseat seemed roomy enough, it only fit comfortably in the middle position of the back seat, between the front seats, and even that was tight. (Of course, in my research since, I find that's the safest spot for the car seat, anyway.)

So, now, fast forward almost 5 years, and we've got 2 totally different (bigger) cars- a Toyota Camry and a Volvo wagon. We've got to find a seat that fits in both fairly easily by the time we break out the cigars celebrating the arrival of this little boy. When toting our nephew, we discovered we don't really prefer lugging the awkward & heavy "baby bucket" around- I'm all about babywearing when it's feasible- so it's tempting to go directly to a convertible seat. People have told us, though, that we will want the infant seat, especially in the winter.

So, here's the options, as I see them:

• Buy an infant seat and use it for this baby for as long as it lasts (from what I've heard, not-so-many months). Use it for the next baby, too, but beyond that, it will probably be expired (Seats expire in 5-6 years) Possibly get a "travel system" stroller with the seat.
• Borrow an infant seat or use a hand-me-down seat from someone we trust (We've already got at least one offer for this.), and find a used stroller that fits the car seat on craigslist. If we decide we don't like it, we didn't spend anything on it, so it's OK. If we decide we do like it, we'll get a new one for future kids knowing it will get good use, and the stroller will be usable beyond the life of the carseat.
• Go straight to a rear-facing convertible seat, skipping the infant seat. We're going to need a convertible seat anyway, and I'm all for buying this new since it will get so many years of continuous use. We'd have to find a stroller that can accommodate a newborn, or avoid using a stroller until the baby's a few months old. 

So, wise parents, what's the right answer? Can we get away without the "baby bucket," or is the convenience of the carrier and travel systems worth it?


Other Baby Stuff series posts: Changing table - The nursery, before - Everywhere!

No one believes me

People don't believe me

when I tell them

I'm halfway through my pregnancy.

(More than halfway, now!)

or that at my one-and-only ultrasound

I was measuring ahead



They give me a funny look when I say so.

Josh says it all depends

on what I'm wearing.

There's a baby in there, I promise.



Also, we really need to mow.

And, like our new fence?

We're going to paint it white.

What else I've been up to...

besides growing a person, that is...

A family reunion at th beginning of August...


Watching all the little kids huddle around the baby corralled in the pack & play made me realize that, at the reunion next year, it will be OUR baby corralled in the pack & play. Weird.



Out of town friends came to visit a couple weeks ago, and we went on a photography adventure to scope out GenCon, and came home to a hot air balloon landing down the street. Great day.

Today I'm headed to downtown Indy to meet up with some fabulous local fellow blogger ladies. The modest gathering I organized turned into quite a party! It should be a lot of fun, and hopefully I'll have pictures to share of that, as well.

Baby Stuff: Everywhere!

I know we haven't even started collecting 'stuff', but what we have so far... I don't know where it's all going to go! We've been generously given many 'big' things we need, and I'm so thankful for them What I didn't think about beforehand was- where are we going to put it all??

So far, we've gotten hand-me-downs:
- pack-n-play
- exersaucer bouncy activity center thing
- bouncy chair
- swing
- travel bed
- side-of-the-crib diaper organizer
- garbage bag full of clothes
- garbage bag full of receiving blankets
- boppy covers
 - infant car seat & base

The baby's room has a crib, dresser/changing table, and glider- and anything more than that on the floor makes it impossible to walk through the room. So, nothing else can go in there, except what stores underneath the crib. Right now, the exersaucer thing and the packed-up pack-n-play are sitting in the middle of the floor in the room, making it pretty much impassable. The swing is half-assembled in the middle of the living room. (And we don't have modern furniture and bright colors in our house- it's pretty much all subdued & wood & country, so the bright, primary colored toys don't exactly camouflage well.) Almost everything else in that list is still sitting in Josh's car. :)

And, I know this is just the beginning. Most of the Stuff left is smaller and easier to store (I think?!), I think, but the sheer volume of it is a bit overwhelming for our little house. I know much of the stuff on the above list isn't necessary, but I figured we'd at least give it a try to see what Baby Boy likes before getting rid of it.

My question for you: What are your storage tricks? Where did you put all the big "baby stuff"? Does it take over the living room? Your bedroom? Or do you just keep it in the attic or garage until needed? Because middle-of-the-floor isn't working for me right now.

"Unremarkable"?

From Baby B

It's a funny word the reviewing doctor used throughout the report recapping the results of my ultrasound Friday: unremarkable.
"The facial profile is unremarkable."
"The fetal kidneys, stomach, and bladder are unremarkable."
"The maternal bladder and adnexa are unremarkable."
"Unremarkable fetal anatomic survey."

I'll be honest, while lying with goo on my belly, fixated on the grainy black-and-white picture, I thought what I was seeing was one of the most remarkable things I've ever beheld. This person on the screen- with a nose and lips and ten fingers and ten toes and boy parts- is squirming around inside of me, and all the doctor can come up with is "unremarkable"?!? I'd like to think a better word is "miraculous": "The facial profile is miraculous." "The fetal kidneys, stomach, and bladder are miraculous." Much better.

I do need to rave about our ultrasound technician at the Center for Diagnostic Imaging in Carmel. She was wonderful. I had heard stories of tight-lipped, serious techs that wouldn't say anything as they took measurements, not even letting parents see the screen until the end of the exam. This sent parents into a flurry of worry that something was wrong, and also sent them away disappointed that they didn't get to marvel at their child as much as possible. This lady, though, was very warm, open, and chatty. She explained what she was seeing and what she was doing the entire time as we got to watch alongside. I think I just laid there with a silly grin on my face, taking it all in. Our little guy was very squirmy and active, which didn't make her job easy, but she had patience and took her time, and the appointment as a whole was about 45 minutes. (OK, I'll 'fess up, I might have eaten some candy right before the appointment in hopes of seeing the baby move around a bit. I don't think he needed the help though)

At the end of the appointment, the tech went on and on about how good everything looks and what "nice shots" we got to see. The baby wasn't shy about letting us know he's a boy (Check out the poll on the sidebar, then be reminded not to believe anything you read on the Internet.). I have an anterior placenta, which means I might not be feeling kicks as much as I would be otherwise. Also? This guy's measuring a week & a half ahead of my January 4th due date, though the midwives won't officially change my due date unless he's measuring more than 2 weeks on either side of it. But, in the back of my mind, I'll know a 2010 baby is even more likely.

She printed out 8 pictures for us- many of them weren't nearly the best shots we saw, but that was fine. Even with these pictures, we're reminded that this baby boy is anything but "unremarkable"!

Genetics

While I'm not a biologist, and I haven't drawn out any Punnett squares, I have thought a little about what this kid will inherit, both good and bad. 

• We both have seasonal allergies, but different seasons. Josh struggles with pollen mostly in the fall. I have early-summer allergies (I know, weird.) Will our kid be sneezing half the year? Or will they get by without any trouble?
• Josh has food allergies. Are these inherited? If they are, can they be prevented by delaying introducing the foods until later? I've found mixed answers in Dr Google to these questions.
• I sunburn easily. Josh gets a great tan and rarely turns pink like I do. Whose skin will this baby get? Let's hope I'll get to skip the massive amounts of sunscreen I had to use as a child.
• My family's fairly tall. Josh's is average-height. Will our kids be tall or short?
• Josh's family has amazing musical ability, both on instruments and singing. I have none, zero, zilch. Will this kid follow in their dad's (and grandparents, uncles, first-cousins-once-removed's) footsteps and not be entirely tone deaf like me?
• Neither of us have much athletic ability. I played basketball from third grade until freshman year of high school, but was no star. Will this kid somehow be an athlete, with no help from our genes? Or are they doomed to embarrass themselves in gym class like I did? Will a klutz make our auto insurance rates go up?
• We have about the same color hair- I'd call it a "light brown" or "dark blond". Will all our kids have the same color hair, too, or will they have darker hair like some of their grandparents- or really, really blond hair, like an uncle and cousin?
• What personality traits are genetic? I know "nature vs. nurture" is an age-old debate, so we may never know if our child is mimicking us, or is hard-wired to be like us.

I seriously can't wait to meet this kid, and see who God is creating right now, a little individual that may or may not remind me of myself.

Did you see what your child inherited from you when they were a baby, or did it take longer to "see Mom & Dad" in them?

Poetry Friday

From The Writer's Almanac

The Alien
by Greg Delanty

I'm back again scrutinizing the Milky Way
of your ultrasound, scanning the dark
matter, the nothingness, that now the heads say
is chockablock with quarks & squarks,
gravitons & gravitini, photons & photinos. Our sprout,

who art there inside the spacecraft
of your ma, the time capsule of this printout,
hurling & whirling towards us, it's all daft
on this earth. Our alien who art in the heavens,
our Martian, our little green man, we're anxious

to make contact, to ask questions
about the heavendom you hail from, to discuss
the whole shebang of the beginning & end,
the pre–big bang untime before you forget the why
and lie of thy first place. And, our friend,

to say Welcome, that we mean no harm, we'd die
for you even, that we pray you're not here
to subdue us, that we'd put away
our ray guns, missiles, attitude and share
our world with you, little big head, if only you stay.

Our First (and Only!) Peek

I just made the call, and scheduled my 20-week ultrasound for a week & a half from now. Unlike many of my friends, I'm actually waiting until practically 20 weeks to take a peek at this growing baby. And, yes, we want to find out the gender. I'm too practical not to. Also, I'm not crazy about yellow ducks, which seems to be the only gender-neutral clothing available. You'd think yellow and green would be for either girls or boys, but, in looking around, all the yellow shirts have ruffled sleeves, and the green onesies have dinosaurs. As a girl, I'm a fan of dinosaurs, but I don't think that's what the green shirt's trying to communicate. I'll rant about gender-specific stuff later. First step is to know if we're on Team Pink or Team Blue!

I've put up the obligatory poll on the sidebar of my blog- is Baby a Girl or Boy? What's your guess? Here are some helpful facts & old wives' tales:

• Josh's family doesn't have girls. He is one of 4 brothers. His older two brothers have four boys between them. He has no sisters, and we have no nieces. Looking to the extended family, there are definitely more boys born than girls, in all generations (on his dad's side. His mom's side is so big, I'm not sure I could count up the ratio.).
• My family has more girls. I have a sister and no brothers, and, in both my parents' families, there were two girls and one boy.
• The baby isn't "stealing my beauty" as girls are said to do.
• The baby's heart rate has been over 145 bpm at all three of my appointments, which is supposed to indicate a girl.
• I had zero morning sickness, which supposedly points to a boy.
• The Chinese Lunar Baby-Gender Prediction Calendar says I'm having a girl.
• I've not had any intense cravings, so the "sweet or salty" myth isn't one I can use.
• Am I carrying high or low? I'll update this post with a picture, and you can decide, or check out the old belly pictures.

Vote in the poll on the sidebar, let me know in the comments what you think. Also- did the Old Wives' Tales hold true for predicting your babies' gender?

The Tax Credit issue and Induction

Depending on who you ask, my due date is either January 4th or December 30th. The midwives are going with the later date, just to be safe. I tell people "around New Year's" when they ask. And, to my surprise, when I give this answer, I often get the same piece of advice- "You better get that baby out before the end of the year- you'll get the tax credit!"

It's a nice thought- $1,000 off my taxes to care for a child for 2010, when he or she was only in the world for a few days. Sounds pretty good, right? Well, maybe.

TIME is reporting today on a recent study that examines the use of c-sections and inductions before the due date:

A study published in the July issue of the journal Obstetrics and Gynecology found that among more than 7,800 women giving birth for the first time, those whose labor was induced were twice as likely to have a C-section delivery as those who experienced spontaneous labor...

In her study of ethnically and socioeconomically diverse mothers delivering before 41 weeks' gestation, who did not have pregnancies complicated by breech presentation, 44% of women had their labor induced. The rate is significant because ACOG guidelines, which have been in place since 1982, recommend against elective inductions in the early term, or anytime before 39 weeks...

In an editorial accompanying Ehrenthal's paper, Signore also suggests that the high rate of early-term induction may reflect lifestyle choices: health care providers' and new parents' desire to control the timing of delivery. "Many women believe that delivering a few weeks early is just as safe as delivering on the projected due date and may request delivery for any number of reasons of comfort or convenience," Signore writes. "However, we must remember that incautious use and timing of interventions — particularly in elective cases — can lead to unnecessarily poorer outcomes for women and newborns."

On one hand, it makes sense that people are suggesting I "get that baby out early". Almost half of moms are induced, so it's "normal"! Controlling the time of delivery makes sense! Why be up in the middle of the night? Why risk getting a doctor who isn't mine? And why miss out on the tax credit? On the other hand, inducing labor before my due date goes against longstanding ACOG guidelines, and doubles my risk for major abdominal surgery (among other unpleasant induction side effects). According to the same study, about a third of births happen via c-section in the US, so odds are already not that good. Those numbers are mind-boggling to me. I'm working to make my odds to avoid surgery as much in my favor as possible, so, barring any complications*, Baby will choose his or her own birthday. Baby will come when he or she is ready- fully cooked and developed, and when my body is ready to get Baby out.

And the tax credit? The average first-time mom, when left to go into labor on her own, goes 8 days "overdue." Using that statistic, it puts this baby being born squarely in January (Just in case, though, I'm still sticking close to home for Christmas. Don't want a travel emergency!). I was my mom's first, however, and came two weeks early, so there is hope for a 2010 baby! Also? I joined my parents on January 2nd, and they missed the tax credit cut-off by just a couple days. Perhaps the irony of my due date is payback for my birthday, 27 years later!


* Disclaimer: There are very valid, medically-indicated reasons for having an induction or c-section, and I've had friends who have been helped by both these technologies in their specific situations. Technology absolutely should be used where appropriate and necessary.