One year ago today, Josh and I were married.
No really big plans for our anniversary. Today, I'm making a dessert for our small group meeting tomorrow, and looking over the discussion material. I'm cooking a large batch of macaroni & cheese to serve for dinner at a church downtown. We'll probably go to a dinner on our own after helping out serving dinner at the church. Next weekend, we're taking an overnight trip to Chicago to see the sites. That should be fun. Yesterday was a little busier- we watched two of our nephews half the day, did some grocery shopping- including at a farmers' market- and went to church.
The point isn't the anniversary, really. It's just a marker saying we've been married 365 days- though the 364th day isn't much different than the 366th. This growing time, though, this passing-through-seasons together, is the important part. It's been a joyous year- when people found out we were newlyweds, they inevitably would say "You know what they say, the first year is always the hardest..." Maybe they say that. I seriously doubt it to be true in our lives. This year, I learned so much- about my husband, about love, about 'doing life' together- but mostly about myself, my deep hurts and my own sinfulness. A year ago, on our wedding day, I was starry-eyed and sure I could never be more in love. Now, a year later, I am deeper in love, and still starry-eyed.
I've laughed hard this year. I've lived with my best friend. We've dealt with job loss and tragedy, as well as made new friends and gone on adventures. We've served side-by-side as well as cheered each other as we've used our individual gifts on our own.
Somehow, I've become more me this year, thanks to the support and encouragement of my husband. I've learned I enjoy knitting and cooking- two hobbies I would have never imagined I'd ever have. (Speaking of hobbies, check out an old post with comments once upon a time. Not even my friends could imagine me having a hobby involving creativity!) Now I am secure that I am loved unconditionally by another person, and don't need to fit a box to be loved anymore. I no longer need to be a 'geek', a 'perfect student', a 'tomboy', or any of the other labels I've fallen into in my life. I can be me, and if that means I can cook and knit and take pictures and blog and program and play board games, so be it. I am loved for who I am by a man that I adore. For the first time in my life I've felt beautiful, because someone I care about believes I am and reminds me of it. No more worrying about the awkwardness of my appearance- I am someone's Beauty. Josh has allowed me to blossom, to be truly me, and loves me anyway. I'm the luckiest girl ever.