Resisting What's Good for Me

Every week, I have the same conversation with Josh:

Me: "I'm not sure I want to go to yoga this week. I'm sore and tired, and it'd be nice to have a night off"
J: "You should go to yoga"
Me: "But, such-and-such hurts, and I'd rather just rest."
J: "Do you think yoga would be good for such-and-such and make it feel better?"
Me: "Well, maybe... but it's hard. And I'd rather hang out with you."
J: "You should go to yoga"
Me: "Fine, I'll go." ... and I fix and eat dinner, change clothes, and try to be out the door by 6:30 or so, and don't return until almost 9.

It's not that I don't like yoga. I do! But I like it when I feel like it, which isn't always at 7pm on Thursday nights of a busy week. There's just one prenatal yoga class in the area that I can make it to, though, with everything else in my schedule. Months ago, I bought a 10-class package at the yoga studio that has to be used before my due date. Sadly, part of my motivation for getting to yoga is economic- the package was only a good deal if I use 8 or more of the 10 classes, so I tell myself I only have 9 weeks left to use the remaining 4 classes, and I won't really feel like it around the holidays, my last 4 weeks or so- so I really should go tonight, whether I feel like it or not.

And then? When I get home from the class? I feel great! I'm relaxed! I sleep better! The soreness before the class is gone on Friday! I have energy! It occurred to me last night- why do I fight this every week? Why do I drag my feet when, afterwards, I know I'll feel so great? I make excuses. I'm tired after a Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday full of work, bible study, Bradley method childbirth class, housework and errands. Exercising is not on my list of Things-I'd-Like-To-Do. I'd rather hang out with my husband and reconnect, and yoga doesn't seem like the obvious way to remove dark circles under eyes- but, amazingly, it is. Thursday used to be our mid-week date night, and now I feel like I'm abandoning him. And yet, he encourages me to go. He sees the bigger picture better than I do.

What else do I do this with?
Knitting. 
Vacuuming. 
Cooking a balanced meal. 
Calling up old friends. 
Bible study. 
Prayer.

All things that are good for me, things I ought to do, that I KNOW I will feel better and refreshed after I do them, but I make excuses and resist and put off until tomorrow. Am I undisciplined? Or just too busy and stretched too thin? I have a feeling the current book our small group is studying will be helpful: it's titled Margin. Sounds like something I could use, huh?

Book Reviews, part 2

In part two of my book review series, I'm looking at two books I checked out from the library not long after I found out I was pregnant. Reading them simultaneously gave me a different perspective than if I had read one before or after the other.


Pushed by Jennifer Block has the subtitle "The painful truth about childbirth and modern maternity care"- and it lived up to its claim. Chapter after chapter lists studies and statistics showing the reality of modern labor and delivery- and the dangers of the medicalization of the process. From epidural to inductions to cesarean sections, Block examines "technology" used on women, and weighs the risks and benefits, concluding that doctors are better equipped to deal with people with Mesothelioma cancer or a broken arm than a low-risk pregnancy and birth.

The book is well-researched and cited, including 50 pages of appendices and notes. This makes it a bit dry and hard to get through, but very convincing. This book stirred up mixed feelings in me. On one hand, it made me angry that these things were being done to women, without much choice on their part, even in the face of current evidence that the interventions often weren't necessary. On the other hand, the chapters presented all these scary statistics without providing much in the way of answers or alternatives, and this made me feel discouraged. What was I to do if I ended up in a situation like many that were described in the book, which sounded far too common? This aspect of the book left me disappointed.


While reading Pushed, because it was a heavier read, I picked up another of the books from the same library trip to read simultaneously- The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer. This book covers almost exactly the same topics as Pushed, with very similar statistics and studies cited (I didn't actually check that they were exactly the same, but the data was certainly consistent, at least.) With Goer's book, however, the chapters are more balanced. Pros and cons of procedures, prenatal care providers, and birth settings were discussed, rather than just the evils of hospitals.

I appreciated the examination of trade-offs and solutions to the issues presented. When I finished reading Pushed, I was left discouraged at the state of birth care. When I finished The Thinking Woman's Guide, I felt more encouraged- I was aware of problems and possibilities that could come up, but solutions were also offered. A woman is not left helpless, she is left with choices. This book convinced me to continue my research and make the most informed, evidence-based choices I could- both for my health and the health of my baby. This has probably been my favorite pregnancy book so far.

Book Reviews, part 1

Right now, I have a list of eight books I've read since being pregnant, about being pregnant or giving birth. Rather than split it up into 8 posts, and create a bit of book-review overload, or scrunch all the reviews into one really long post and do none of the books justice, I'm going to split the reviews into 3 or 4 posts. In the comments, let me know what else I should be reading!


These first couple books don't really fit with the rest, so I'm lumping them together as the odd-books-out. They are both relatively recently published. (The reviews contain affiliate links)

There's a funny story behind this book.

After we found out we were expecting, we told pretty much no one for about 5 weeks- family included. Only a couple people even knew we were trying for a baby. One of these people was my sister, and she was (and is!) very excited to be an aunt. On one occasion when we saw her, when our secret was between just Josh and I, she said she had a gift for me. It was this book- Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy. I had to accept it graciously, without spilling the beans or dropping hints! I think I managed well enough- and we shared the irony of the timing of her gift with her just a few weeks later.

This is a short book, and a quick read. The many, many chapters are just a few pages each. The former Baywatch star describes various uncomfortable pregnancy and birth realities with lightheartedness and humor as she tries to disclose what you may not have been told beforehand about this stage of life. She talks about changes to hair and nails, how to get rid of blackheads, the pains of carrying the belly, and even some postpartum secrets. I can see why this book makes a fun gift. Thanks, sis!


My most recent read has been Born To Buy: The Commercialized Child and the New Consumer Culture by Julie Schor. Unlike the conversational, lighthearted tone of the above book, this book is heavy with pages and pages of research and statistics. Schor tackles the reality of marketing to children, and what is being marketed to them. She exposes not only marketing on television and in magazines- the 'obvious' advertisements- but marketing done in schools and through peer networks, and the way advertising to children has become more sophisticated and subtle over the last decades. She also details the effect of advertising and consumerism and Stuff on the psychology and behavior of children. The book opened my eyes to ways that children- and adults- are exposed to advertisements in ways I had never thought of before.

Pizza Hut Book-it Program? Box Tops for Education? Band-aids with characters on them? Coupons? Free samples? All ads. Some are more blatantly obvious than others, but these are all ways companies build brand and product loyalty. While shopping for baby & kids' stuff, I'm realizing how hard it can be to find un-branded things- clothes or bedding or toys without a character from a TV show or movie on them. Based on my observation of the kids I know, all this advertising is working- but I like to think I combat it just a little bit, by realizing it is out there.

Perspective on the Nursery

The Telegraph has a series of photographs from a new book called Where Children Sleep. LIFE has a photo series too, with some additional children. Check it out. Thanks to my friend Michelle for the link.

The photos depict bedrooms (or, lack of bedrooms) from all over the world, with portraits and short introductions of the child who sleeps there. Some of them are just a one-room hut, or even a bed in a literal dump full of trash and old tires and used gym equipment. Living in our three-bedroom house... setting up a nursery for a yet-to-be-born baby who probably won't even sleep there for months to come... it puts our 6'x10' nursery (that I think feels tiny) into perspective. I have had a lot of fun perusing etsy for decor ideas, but coordinating crib sets* seem to matter less when I'm reminded that many children don't even have a bed, nevertheless a bed in their own room.

* For the record, I'm not registered for a coordinating crib set. Didn't really see the point, since quilts & bumpers & pillows aren't recommended, anyway.

In the news

Language shapes how we think, in a way. This long New York Times article is fascinating, mostly because I'm a word/grammar geek.

If this baby's a mama's boy, it'll be good for his mental and physical health.

Babies who are held "too much" aren't spoiled- they're better people.

Kacie has a great list of tips for Non-Pregnant People

Monty Python's take on hospital birth- why have I never seen this before?! Another reason why my health affiliate is a midwife, and I'm trying to avoid the hospital.

Via @twentysixcats- survival tips for the first month. Great list!

Because I'm a numbers geek, too, I'm really enjoying the Evidence Based Mummy blog. Today she posted a round-up of recent articles.

Preparing

Childbirth classes started last week.

So far in class, we haven't talked too much about actual childbirth- last week, we talked about exercise, and this week, nutrition for a healthy baby, as opposed to "diets that work fast"-type eating. I'm now tracking what I eat, walking 20 minutes a day, practicing relaxation for 20 minutes a day, and doing some other exercises. Josh has been patient and helpful as we practice working together as a team. I'm a lucky lady, to have him as my coach.

Between daily exercises, Tuesday night childbirth classes and Thursday night prenatal yoga, I feel like I'm going to be all-labor-prep, all-the-time between now and December. Everyone I've talked to about the Bradley method says it's worth it, though, so we're determined to keep it up. Also, I've taken to heart what I've read in Husband Coached Childbirth- labor will be like running a marathon, so I need to train and be ready. I have a couple friends & family members who have been training for a marathon, so I see the dedication it takes!

The preparation has begun!

Recovering Photographer

Earlier this summer, I heard about a relatively new group at our church called the Grace Volunteer Photographers. The group coordinates those with an interest in photography to be at various other ministries' events, to get pictures for those ministries. The group also does pictures for the church website, headshots for security badges, and any other photography-type need around the large church. It sounded right up my alley!

I emailed the leader of the group, and he got back with me quickly about upcoming opportunities. I don't have a fancy flash on my basic DSLR, so I didn't want to do anything indoors- I hate the way my pictures with flash turn out. The one event that sounded like something I could help with was an upcoming girls' middle school retreat, which happened last Saturday. They specifically needed a female photographer to go on this trip, and I (amazingly!) had the weekend free, so it seemed like a good fit.

The retreat was two days- from Saturday morning to Sunday late afternoon- but I was only expected to be there during the day Saturday. The weather wasn't supposed to be too hot, the directions to the camp were straightforward, my SD card was cleared, and my camera battery was charged. Easy, right? Um, I left off the part about being 6 months pregnant, but I figured I could handle it.

Kids showed up at the church at 8am Saturday. The 4 busloads of girls rolled out around 9:30, and arrived at the camp around 11. In the rain. The somewhat-chilly rain. My camera started getting steamy, and I decided I had taken enough pictures outside, until it dried out. Also, junior high girls move pretty fast, and aren't always interested in having their picture taken (or are too interested in it, and make silly faces) I did my best to stay in the background and be un-distracting while they played and learned. This was my first all-day photo assignment, probably akin to a wedding in duration, and I learned a lot too- about both photography, middle school girls, and myself:

• It's hard to make pictures interesting sometimes. With a portrait session, you can direct the subjects to be interesting. With events where everyone's facing the same direction (like a worship service) there's only so much you can do, and still be out of the way and unobtrusive.
• I always have regrets. I looked back at my hundreds of pictures from the day, and wished I had gotten a different angle, or framed a shot differently. I see so much more I could have done. I know this is part of the learning process, but I feel bad missing shots when someone is counting on me.
• I can't keep up with middle school girls while six months pregnant. The day started fine, and I was proud of myself for my stamina. Around 2 or 2:30, the whole group went to the ropes course, and I wanted to capture all the activities and stations they were trying- a huge climbing wall, a tall zipline, a highwire, team building activities... and hurrying through the woods between all the groups wore me out. I pushed myself more than I should have. By the 4:00 free time, I was totally beat, but I knew that some of the best memories were made during this unstructured time, so I had to keep moving. And I did- but I regretted it Sunday!
• I was reminded how much I hated middle school. Being in 3 schools in 3 states in 3 years didn't help matters, but sixth through 8th grade was such a hard time for me, and the memories are still fairly vivid. Also, I was reminded how much I dreaded going on all-girl retreats as a high schooler. During free time, when I was physically exhausted this time around, I was reminded how, when I was a camper, this would be the point in the weekend I would be mentally & socially exhausted, and go hide in the cabin to recharge. Didn't have that luxury this weekend.
• I realized what an awkward age this was. I mean, during the middle school years, everyone feels awkward, but, observing these kids- on one hand, they were discussing spending lots of money shopping at the trendy stores at the mall, and on the other, they were playing on the playground and making up stories they would all play along with. Sandwiched between 'make-up' and 'make-believe'. They're kids, as much as they tried to be trendy teenagers. I still don't think I could ever do youth ministry, but seeing a glimpse of who these girls are was kinda neat.

I got home late Saturday and collapsed. I made it to church Sunday, and spend the rest of the day doing pretty much nothing. I didn't drink enough water Saturday, and that took its toll- I needed a wholesale water filter to keep up with my thirst! I was still sore from walking so much on Monday. Today, I'm just tired, but mostly recovered. I look forward to being able to help with the photographers' group again- but, next time, with a shorter assignment!

I haven't shared any of my pictures because I don't have permission from the girls' parents, but there was one I snapped before I left I thought was funny and can't help but share. The check-in tables for the boys and girls' retreat were set up inside the door of the church, clearly labeled, but someone didn't notice where the labels landed...

New Best Friend

Friends of ours in the area got a dog almost a year ago, and we had talked about setting up a "puppy playdate" with Casey since then, but it never actually happened.

Meet Rascal:


Casey LOVES playing with other dogs, but we've found that smaller dogs or puppies are scared of him because of his size, and aren't so enthusiastic to play. Mostly, they just try to hide, or growl at him, which confuses Casey greatly. He just wants to play!

This little Scotty though? He lived up to his breed and was a scrappy, bold little thing.





They chased each other around the yard all evening, and it was hilarious. Even when they both were worn out, they still wanted to hang out with each other.




This almost (*ALMOST*) makes us want to get another dog. But, not right now. We'll just need to set up more playdates! And perhaps have friends who can confidently dog-sit if we ever get one of those Branson vacation packages :)

Casey and Rascal, new best friends!