10.29.2010

Resisting What's Good for Me

Every week, I have the same conversation with Josh:
Me: "I'm not sure I want to go to yoga this week. I'm sore and tired, and it'd be nice to have a night off"
J: "You should go to yoga"
Me: "But, such-and-such hurts, and I'd rather just rest."
J: "Do you think yoga would be good for such-and-such and make it feel better?"
Me: "Well, maybe... but it's hard. And I'd rather hang out with you."
J: "You should go to yoga"
Me: "Fine, I'll go." ... and I fix and eat dinner, change clothes, and try to be out the door by 6:30 or so, and don't return until almost 9.
It's not that I don't like yoga. I do! But I like it when I feel like it, which isn't always at 7pm on Thursday nights of a busy week. There's just one prenatal yoga class in the area that I can make it to, though, with everything else in my schedule. Months ago, I bought a 10-class package at the yoga studio that has to be used before my due date. Sadly, part of my motivation for getting to yoga is economic- the package was only a good deal if I use 8 or more of the 10 classes, so I tell myself I only have 9 weeks left to use the remaining 4 classes, and I won't really feel like it around the holidays, my last 4 weeks or so- so I really should go tonight, whether I feel like it or not.

And then? When I get home from the class? I feel great! I'm relaxed! I sleep better! The soreness before the class is gone on Friday! I have energy! It occurred to me last night- why do I fight this every week? Why do I drag my feet when, afterwards, I know I'll feel so great? I make excuses. I'm tired after a Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday full of work, bible study, Bradley method childbirth class, housework and errands. Exercising is not on my list of Things-I'd-Like-To-Do. I'd rather hang out with my husband and reconnect, and yoga doesn't seem like the obvious way to remove dark circles under eyes- but, amazingly, it is. Thursday used to be our mid-week date night, and now I feel like I'm abandoning him. And yet, he encourages me to go. He sees the bigger picture better than I do.

What else do I do this with?
Knitting. 
Vacuuming. 
Cooking a balanced meal. 
Calling up old friends. 
Bible study. 
Prayer.

All things that are good for me, things I ought to do, that I KNOW I will feel better and refreshed after I do them, but I make excuses and resist and put off until tomorrow. Am I undisciplined? Or just too busy and stretched too thin? I have a feeling the current book our small group is studying will be helpful: it's titled Margin. Sounds like something I could use, huh?

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