On Gifting

I came to a realization a week or so ago: I'm really bad at gifts.

The love language of gifts just doesn't speak to me, and I can't speak it, as hard as I try. I can think of a host of reasons- I don't really value Stuff, I'm practical to a fault, I over-think what someone might like and be able to use. As a result, picking out gifts for people in my life is torturous. I think of something they might like, then realize they'd probably rather pick it out themselves. I think of something really useful, then realize how painfully boring it is. I think of a fun idea, then wonder if it's something they'd really like or use. And the cycle goes on, with every single person on my list. I've concluded I'm just bad at this whole process.

What breaks my heart about the whole thing is, gifts DO matter to some people. The thoughtfulness and sentimentality and Stuff language of gifts is a way that they receive love. I want to be able to show love to these friends and family, and when I try to think of ways to do so, I hit a wall. I freeze up, and nothing comes to mind that's meaningful and useful and fun. I'm thankful that Josh vetoes some of my boring ideas, and recognizes some of my ideas are things that I would like or think they ought to have, but aren't things they would like. I need him as a filter- though, I still fail to come up with any good ideas. All the ads in the stores hawking video games, jewelry, NFL and NBA shirts, plastic toys- it all seems to meaningless and impractical. I do better with gifts when I have a list from the recipient- then, at least, I know what I'm picking out will be useful and wanted, even if it is boring.

So: if your love language includes Receiving Gifts, please don't be offended if I don't send you anything, or do a really bad job at picking something out. I'm really bad at this, and it breaks my heart I can't properly speak the language that communicates best to you. It's frustrating on my end, too, believe me. But! If you want to go spend some Quality Time or receive some Acts of Service, I'm your girl! Find out your love language.


Ashley said...

The blanket you gave me for Savannah is one of my favorites that I received (and I received many!). :-) In fact, I just had to throw it in the wash because it was a casualty to the day I put Savannah down for a nap in a velcro diaper...

Heather said...

Love your pics of my boys :) Don't forget that the boys really love it when you take them somewhere. The gift of time is always needed and such a hit with us! This will really resonate with you soon.

Gretchen said...

I am really good at showing my love through gifts for some reason. I don't know why, but I love the process of thinking of things they would like and finding unique items. If you ever need any shopping help, let me know!

Kacie said...

We are very similar in this! Gifts aren't my thing and I always feel so bad when I can't think of what to give people whose love language does include gifts.

I love receiving extremely practical things, or gifts of experiences (like I would love tickets to a museum or a bunch of toiletries I'd use or even a big supply of toilet paper! Hah!).

Everyone on my Christmas list this year is getting a gift card, except for Johnny. I sorta feel bad about that, but I just don't have the mental capacity to try and shop. Hope they won't mind.


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