I was trying to explain to my sister last night why I was at peace with Nanny passing away. This was the conversation:
(23:16:56) Caroline: are you ok about everything?
(23:17:00) Me(2): Yes.
(23:17:38) Me(2): It's Nanny's time, I feel. I'm ok about things.
(23:18:34) Caroline: yeah i know what you mean.. im still goin to miss her thoguth she was like my idol
(23:19:56) Me(2): Yes, me too. She's lived a full, exciting life. It's a loss to the world, to lose her, because she contains so much history and character. But it's her time. It helped me to talk to Dad and hear that he is at peace about things.
(23:20:40) Caroline: yeah but im still really upset
(23:21:03) Me(2): Today at church (Grace) more serious songs were sung, in memory of Sept 11th & Katrina, reminding us that God is in control, even in hard times. I cried, not for either of those events, but for Nanny
(23:22:33) Me(2): one of the songs talked about heaven, and I thought of her stories of going dancing on the weekends in New York City and thought, she'll be able to dance again, in heaven. With her husband. That makes me very happy. Sad she'll be gone, but happy she'll be whole again.
I really believe that. As long as I can remember, Nanny walked with a crutch, and her husband, my grandfather, died when my dad was sixteen. She always told stories of when she was young, living and working in Pennsylvania and then taking the train as a young woman by herself, later at night than she probably should have, to New York City to go dancing.
It really does excite me to know that she will be able to see her husband, who she hasn't seen in 35 years (I know... "no marriage in heaven"... but still), and that she will be able to run and dance and move easily and joyfully.
But, yeah, we'll all miss her. Alot.