A Conversation in Meijer

Monday, I procrastinated on deciding on a dessert for our small group meeting, and finally chose peach cobbler. I had to run to Meijer to get peaches, however. I had the choice to drive, but I walked, thinking that the exercise was good for me and it wouldn't add that much time. I was only kind-of in a hurry. About halfway there, I thought to myself, I KNOW I'm going to run into someone I know at Meijer, get held up talking, and wish I would have driven to save time. I kept walking.

I grabbed my 10 peaches, and was on my way to look for refrigerated pie crusts, when I did run into someone I knew (of course), a classmate from high school. We made polite conversation, she asked what I had been up to. I gave the standard answer: I graduated college last May, am working for a small software consulting company nearby, I got married right after I graduated, and, oh yeah, we just signed a purchase agreement on a house.

I got a reaction that, perhaps I have gotten before from long-lost acquaintances, but hadn't been spoken out loud. She smiled, and sighed, and nodded as she said "So responsible!"

The reaction implied "You're doing everything my parents want me to do" but also "You're settling down & not having any fun!"

I think I'm learning that God has different plans for different people, so I don't need to vehemently defend my choices as the Only Right Way. We're being called to be "so responsible" by tackling life-events in the order that they are presenting themselves, and in the end, there'll be a reason. Others' life-paths may keep a person single for a while longer (or not as long!), or bring kids along sooner, or move them around more, or keep them in school longer. There's no one way to go about things, so I can't defend my way as any more 'responsible' than any other way. It's just different, and 'responsible' for us, in our place in life. God certainly has more excitement in store for us in the years to come. I can't wait.

And, yes, the peach cobbler got cooked in time.


Dianah said...


Your friend's reply may not have implied that you are not having any fun. After all, fun is a relative term and is unique to each person.
You can't tell me that you have not had fun pledging your life to your best friend, and all the adventures you have been able to share together, or the excitement of finding the perfect place make a home including the preparation and dreaming!
I think that you may have looked too much into her reply. After all, Joanna, you yourself make it fun to be around. :-)

Dad (posted by Joanna) said...

Thought for the day. …People seeking pleasure call it seeking fun. People seeking joy get fun without seeking it!

Larissa said...

I know what you are talking about. I actually disagree with Dianah because the same thing has happened to me, and some times even with people I randomly meet. People think because I married "so soon" and didn't make out with a lot of people before getting married and only have had sex with Daniel that I don't know what I'm missing out on. People don't seem to understand why that life doesn't appeal to me. I just shrug my shoulders and smile. It doesn't really bother me because I know I have fun. Plus, maybe I got them to think a little.

Oh, one more thing, it's still weird to me that people outside the church look at me funny because I am already married while many people in the church ask me when I'm going to have kids. Such different perspectives! Either way I guess I'm weird. :)

Lisa said...

Being boring is AWESOME. I highly recommend it. People who aren't boring don't know what they are missing.

lizzitaluz said...

Joanna, thank you so much for reminding me that God has different plans for all of us. I have the opposite problem as you. I have a friend I went to high school with who is married and has gone through school and is now teaching high school Spanish. I am still limping through college, working at a part-time job, raising my 4 year old daughter, and working on my second child as we speak. So although sometimes I wish I could have done it 'the right way', I believe this is the way God wanted it all along. So thank you.


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